Some of the questions that we ask ourselves require an answer and others are pretty much rhetorical. Does he/she truly love me? Can I handle this new position? With my past, can I be a good parent? Will they accept me or will I have to change? Whether you decide the questions or not, your insecurities play are part in showing you who you are or what challenges you have to deal with. When you decide to avoid questions that really need answers, your insecurities become obstacles to your growth and they become declarations of your character.
We have to bold enough to run toward our insecurities and address them. We have to be honest about our personal history, circumstances, and environment. Don’t be afraid to share; it may not be for everyone but believe that someone needs your truth, unfiltered. Things happen to us for a reason, to help someone else could be one of the reasons. Ask yourself about the things you feel insecure about and answer them, honestly. Think of things that you do to improve your life in that area, steps you can take to change or adjust so that you can receive a better result than you have been getting.
One of the things that you have to do to get free is to have some compassion for yourself! Give yourself a break! You are never going to be perfect or even close for that matter so get over that… quickly. Some of the things that have happened to us are consequences of our own actions, we have to own up to them but that does not mean we have to abuse ourselves about it. No matter what the reason, we can still treat ourselves with some compassion. We have to believe that we are fallible and are doing the best that we can at every given moment. And when we acknowledge that we are not, we can redeem ourselves by making different choices.
To go along with having compassion for ourselves, we have to make sure that our internal dialogue is positive. Having an internal negative dialogue will eventually result in an explosion that will make a big mess inside, but it will more than likely seep out and affect your other relationships. Stop overthinking!!! WHAAAAAT? Who does that right? You do!! Focus on the beautiful and positive things that are going on in your life. Let those positive feelings spill over into the not-so-great things. The more you practice thinking positive, the more positive you will be overall and you will see yourself in a positive way and you will notice people gravitate toward you. No one wants to be around a miserable person. FACTS! In the beginning, you won’t be convinced of what you are saying, but if you look at your answers as truth, they will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You have to put more into your passions. Whatever it is that you love to do, use that as an instrument to help you overcome some of your insecurities, if not all. Invest more time and energy in those things. It will help you build up your skills and strengths. Our passions make us feel good so they are fun and pleasurable. They will help us stay focused on what we really want to accomplish. And if you ever observe someone else and their accomplishments and feel a little envy, use that emotion to produce a positive result in your own life. Sometimes we can just spend time with people that are where we want to be and pick their brains. Ask questions like “how did you accomplish___?” or “What is the secret to your succcess?” to name a few. Many times the people that intimidate us from afar are not even as great as we think they are.
Begin to look at your weaknesses as opportunities to improve various aspects of your life.
You are not going to be the best at everything. You have opportunities to fine tune some things, grow, and to discover new things…live a little more. If we were all perfect, what would keep us driven? What would excite or challenge us? How much would you love life? For me, I think that I would be very bored. Part of our purpose is to grow through time and discover, perfection would have no need for that. So we should look at our weaknesses as a tool to drive us to discover more about ourselves. Our insecurities and imperfections need to be addressed. They are not who we are, they are challenges that help us get to who we are, if we are up for the challenge.
I have news for you. Life is not an exam that we have to pass. Our insecurities can definitely be looked at as learning tools. We have many opportunities and chances to get things right. We will make mistakes and that is how we learn. We get to look back and see how far we have come, what works for us and what does not. We have to train ourselves to see what we are given and what we have not be given then use our gifts to continue to strengthen us. Give yourself credit for all of your accomplishments, big and small. We have to know who we are ( and who we are not). We cannot allow others to tell us who we are. We cannot satisfy everyone. Do not let anyone take away your self-appreciation. And this is a bonus, you do not have to explain your existence to others! HELLO!! Your journey is your journey. And news flash…just like everyone else, you are entitled to your freedom, happiness and love. Own that and run it the way you please.
So, it is going to happen. You may feel insecure about yourself and your achievements or lack there of…or even feel intimidated about someone else’s successes or who they are. Do not beat yourself up or talk yourself down. Make sure that your internal dialogue is encouraging and positive. Please watch how you speak to yourself; you are also teaching others boundaries as far as how they address you and treat you. Use the negatives that come with being insecure to propel you into growth. Envision the person you want to be and talk yourself into being that person. No matter what anyone else says, you are the most powerful person in your universe so do yourself a favor and talk yourself down from the ledge and enjoy your journey.